Ogurt Food

I LOVE THIS WEBSITE.

Gravy

Gravy oh gravy how I want to slam my face into thee…

I’ll smash my face into a steaming plate of sausage gravy and slowly rise looking like a drugged frost yeti who begins speaking in a mumbling yeti dialect about ancient frost yetis of yore who also liked gravy but never tried sausage gravy from a gas station because there were no gas stations in Siberia five thousand years ago.

Fistfuls of fried calamari plunged into buckets of braised tomato gravy then eaten like a two year old infant when the baby sitter turns away. Blaeaugh!!!!! I am a force of meat juice. A tidal wave of red eye deliciousness. Like Al Bundy, I’ll take my gravy in shots. Dump buckets of pan drippings over the head of some dork at his bachelor party. Stuffing handfuls of white gravy into my arm pits, packing it tighter and tighter until the molds dry into white bricks so that when I storm into elementary schools doing a “Chicken McCluck Cluck” dance in front of a fan, the hardened gravy bricks fleck away and drift around the lunchroom like meat snow.

I RULE THIS WORLD.

The future of music

This guy.