Let’s get married!

Pseudo-mongoloid brides, wicked moose comb overs in silver polyester tuxedos, gun range glasses stolen from K Mart, more buck teeth than a clandestine dentist office in Indiana, and the thought of the wedding night just off of some highway in Michigan where these two grunt and tug it out to a Dan Fogleberg sex trance soundtrack in the corner suite of Sluggo’s Motel in 1979.

GET IT GOD DAMMIT.

Sports. Ogurts. Freaky freedom blubber froth. Live it.

This picture is yet another home run by Thommy Browne.

Incredible painting

The artist who created this painting really has tuned into a special region of ogrosity. I mean, the buck teeth, the mullet, the unibrow, and the wild cat?

This painting is special.

Contributed by Thommy Browne.

Six pack abs

Oh yes.

Thanks, Thommy.

Walls of Rambo Snarls

I awoke from a nightmare last night dreaming that I was trapped in a prison cell surrounded by the snarled lips of Sylvester Stallone. The snarls covered the walls. Every time I moved a muscle they would shoot back the quote from Rambo II:

“Murdoch…”

That’s all they said. “Muuurdoch…..” over and over. Afterward I could hear the sound of his fist squeezing a spit stained microphone from a VC prison camp. After a few hours, it became quite terrifying (or maybe I was just drunk?). Swirling sounds of snarled lip schizophrenia like a swarm of HGH drugged, mutant cricket moaning chants to their enemies followed by a slight record screech.

I convinced myself I was in a new hell. The hell of the Rambo Snarls (this could be a band name.). I was dreaming so I knew I could combat this omnipotent mandibular scourge with a creation of my imagination. So I thought of the first thing that came to me: a hot spatula covered in pancake grease (drunk + hungry = pancakes) and I began slapping Rambo Snarls in every direction. With each slap the snarls would dry up and I woke up with my fist covered in blood while punching my tuba into a flattened brass clump. Quite the nightmare I can assure you that.

I wonder where he gets it?

(That’s his Mom). RAUGH.