Walking through the cold morning today I realized I was in a special place. I was trying to balance myself atop a pool of uncooked hot dogs, clinching my feet together squishing the mushy pink meat in between my toes. It rained gravy the night before and my chinchillas had seizures in celebration. They bounced around their wicker cages squeaking and clawing the air. I immediately flipped on my stereo where I had Slipknot queued up to serenade them and send them into further hysterics. I thought to myself, life is awesome and as soon as this realization hit me, the theme song for ABC’s Wide World Of Sports blared out of the television. I didn’t turn the TV on, it clicked on by itself and started showing sports. I knew right then and there some type of God was looking down on me. And I knew this God was made of bacon and not the traditional image of some crusty geezer wearing a toga who likes to fart lightening upon the trailer parks of my brethren.
God is bacon. Life is great. The beer is plentiful. So let’s join together and love stuff.
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