Hey girls. Check this. If you want to find a guy and make him love you- feed him baloney. You girls have no idea what kind of aphrodisiac baloney can be. I’m not talking specifically about flavor. I’m talking about what you think of me. I am lunchmeat. Feed me baloney and I’ll love you. Feed me a kidney you just recovered from the dumpster outside of a leprosy abortion clinic and I’ll love you. The point is ladies, FEED ME. I’m not demanding pot pies or any sort of, “Cook my dinner!” assholery. I’m just stating facts of awesome. You want to creep up on some dude, bring baloney. Not bacon. That’s too sophisticated. Get ogurt. Bring baloney.
I’ll never leave.
1 response so far ↓
rumplystickyskin // July 9, 2008 at 4:58 am |
Everything is so clear to me now.
This past weekend my husband and I were at the local grocery. The woman in the deli didn’t seal the bag of the baloney my husband asked for, and when the cashier rang it through and went to put it in the grocery bag, the baloney fell out of the ziplock bag onto the floor.
He had fried baloney sandwhiches for dinner, I did not.